16 Apr Our Board Member – Maya’s Story
“Giving” is an inadequate word to describe the only way our hearts and soul know how to live and thrive.
Since entering my 40’s, a few years ago, that sentence has guided me every day, at every step.
In the beginning, the guidance was both gentle and frightening. I sensed the gentleness as I found myself spending time with more and more people for whom giving was similar to breathing. They were one with their giving; they weren’t conscious of it, never in conflict with it, and alive in a way I didn’t think was possible for humans. I was so envious of them for having connected the dots between inspirational quotes and their day-to-day activities and behaviors. They inspired me, and made me want to move away from the life I was living, a life that was optimized for practicality; a life I knew was quickly coming to an end. And, that last part resulted in overly dramatic and frightening dreams at night.
My dreams reflected the conflict between my heart – that knew what I truly wanted, and my intelligence – that objectively argued against it by presenting evidence after evidence, comprising mortgage payments, retirement savings, kids’ college education, world travel, and all the things that money could address. As an Asian first-generation female in the U.S., what am I, without my socio-economic privileges, it asked. It challenged me to name one person that I know who has walked away from paychecks that most only dream of, with a potential to make all that and more for as long as I wanted.
Through The Sophia Way’s Companion Training and my experience being a companion to a client, I learned to just be. When I was too overwhelmed with my thoughts, I told myself to be a good companion to myself and believe in the Universe.
Looking back, things were already in motion, and it would take me a few years to see it. My need to be in direct service of women brought me to join the Board of The Sophia Way, and the more I served, the less fearful I became, of embracing the life I deeply desired. I simply wanted to give, all of my time, energy, and talent and didn’t want to take anything in return. No money, no titles, no authority. I wanted to give without boundaries, without limits.
I give, not for the benefit of those who need it, but for my benefit, to keep meaning in my life, to help me get out of bed every morning. So exactly six months ago, I resigned my job and started living my real life. Every day, I wake up and go where I am needed and do what I am asked to do.
My heart is at peace, my intelligence asks, “Why wasn’t I told about this earlier?”. I am still companioning that side of me!
– Maya Subramanian
Board Member, The Sophia Way